Did I ever tell you how much I HATE socializing?

No, not in places like small groups of friends or places where you have some kind of connection with others there. But to be in a large group of veritable strangers and expecting to make any kind of meaningful connection there is an exercise in futility with me. Always has, certainly always will.

Approaching people is something I force myself to do, and God forbid if anyone would make it easy for me. I just get the feeling at those times I'm simply not worthy of even an acquaintanceship with anyone there. It's frustrating and drains every ounce of energy I have.

I'm not gregarious, and I certainly cannot and will not fake it as some people suggest I do. I am who I am. And at times like that it hits me that that simply is not good enough.