Finding a treasure.............

On my excursion to the Barnes & Noble I came across a book that has really captured my attention. Ever since forever when I walk into a library or bookstore I gravitate to the self-help section. This inner voice is telling me that the answers to my questions are here. I just have to keep looking.

Well I went to the new book section in self-help last weekend and found something that's making a whole heckva lotta sense to me.
Living the Truth really speaks to me in a way that's unlike any other book I've read. I can feel something inside me that's different. I still have the questions but I also have the feeling that I'll find the answers before too long. The stage is set.

Another date in the books

Met a very nice woman last night. Drove to Kankakee which is about an hour away to meet up with her over coffee and chat. It was a delight to sit and talk with her. I still notice that for the most part if I'm with someone who likes to talk I simply let them. To some, maybe to many that comes off as being closed or aloof. But I am trying to listen and enjoy everyone's presence, being in the moment. Maybe I haven't met that person who elicits that behavior from me. It could be an intuitive feeling that I'm holding back because I feel nothing long-term will come of things. But this is who I am. One thing that concerned me last night was her not having a clean break with her soon to be ex. It's a very friendly, cordial breakup which is good. But the lines are not clear to me when they're talking on the phone 3-4 times a week, having Thanksgiving dinner with each other. I need, want, and deserve someone with a clear and total breakup, someone who has truly and completely moved on.

I've been emailing with someone more local from POF. We really hit it off in the emails we've shared so I asked her out tonight to go to a Blues bar. I asked her in an email this morning so I don't know if she already has plans. Just will have to wait and see how she responds.

Bowling.........well I thought it was a mixed league with men and women. Silly me for not asking questions and just assuming. Ends up it's all men and the women there are all married. So much for an active social life there. And 28 weeks for a bowling season? You have got to be kidding me. No way. Think I'll look for that dancing class. That's what I really want, something that if I look idiotic to start will pay off socially as I get better. Learn and grow......

Social horizons..........

I was asked today at work to join the local bowling league. It's one night a week for 28 weeks. Not all that fond of being committed or that long but it's something I've never done before and will get me out and about. Plus there's a sub list if I've got something else going on that night. Maybe I'll learn to be a decent bowler in the process. LOL

Closer and closer............

Received a letter from my attorney on Monday. It was a letter talking about the ex's desire for alimony and settlement. I called my attorney yesterday and we discussed what our response should be. I really think our counter proposal will be accepted because I sure as hell want a clean break financially. Alimony is way too open-ended, way too easy to come back later and ask for more once my situation improves. Me want none of that. Let's end this and get done. It's gone on way too long. Well over two years separation......need to be done with this so we can both move on.
I'm beginning to smell the freedom cooking! Soon, very very soon...........

Learning......growing

Learning from the past is one of the most important things in life. It’s been said that to continually do the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. In various aspects of our lives whether it be professional or personal a number of us can relate to Bill Murray in the movie, “Groundhog Day.” We know we’re not where we want to be, things do not feel right to us at all. But heaven help us when we try to understand what’s going on and how to fix it. We can’t see the forest for the trees as it were. We do not see the repetitive patterns our lives seem to take. We take the same types of jobs and feel undervalued and empty. We get into relationships with the same types of people and wonder why the life keeps getting sucked out of us.

This is way more than the woman who continually finds herself involved in abusive relationships. A man can just as easily have partners for whatever reason who are emotionally unavailable or psychologically unready for any kind of romantic involvement. Anyone, man or woman can have a revolving door with lovers where only the faces change but the same problems are still showing up.

It is up to us to take time to see the patterns in our lives. I hate the term navel-gazing with a passion. While I will agree that someone can suffer from paralysis from over analysis a little healthy introspection never hurt anyone. If that is not the case how do we ever learn from our mistakes in life? How do we ever achieve any degree of wisdom about who we are, where we’ve been, and where we go from here?

One of the purposes of this blog is to allow me to sort things out, to see the patterns and point myself in a better direction. Anyone and everyone is welcome to come along for the ride. J

A new day is here

Being my first post in my new digs I would like to talk a little bit about myself. I'm a guy, early 50's not searching so much as to who I am but looking for like-minded souls.

I've been out of my marriage over 2 years now. I consider myself divorced but that will happen yet this fall. Fact of the matter is I was divorced from my marriage long before that. There's a lifespan to every relationship in this life and it was clear even after counseling that ours was at its end.

Familiar story huh? Nothing new about the love dying in a marriage. But we each have our own take on things, our own experiences, our own perspective. The same could be said about life in general. Many of us go to work each day (or night), do our jobs, pay our bills, and live our lives the best we can. But after a time that's not enough. We were not meant to go it alone; at least I wasn't. Life is best when shared with a true love.

There are things that are on my to do list long before they become a "bucket list" or things I want to do before I shuffle off this mortal coil. Things I can share with another. I don't need or really want to climb mountains or sky dive, but there are other things I want to experience with a significant other. Just having a day-to-day loving relationship with a woman who's emotionally and physically available to me is one of if not the most important thing of all.