Endings, Beginnings............

Well it finally happened. I received the letter in the mail today. My divorce decree was signed on December 14th. So after 2.5 years I am officially divorced now. Just thought you might want to know. According to the court I do have to pay her $400/month alimony for 10 years; not as bad as it could have been but naturally not as good as I had hoped for. Time to move on..........

Reflections @ mile marker 53

Seeings how it's my birthday today I think it appropriate that I do some reflecting on what's been happening this last year. Life has been good to me. Even with the occasional downs that are a part of life the ups are feeling good, and the average everydays are feeling great! I've gotten myself out of a relationship that had become very bad for me. There were things going on that I simply did not know how to handle. Finally it became clear that things must end.

Having been out of my marriage for 2.5 years I finally am getting near the end. The divorce trial, which was essentially for her seeking alimony was held last week. A final ruling on what I will have to pay out to her will be made sometime after the first of the year by the judge's estimate. But the divorce decree will be sent most likely before Christmas. That part of it, the finality of it all will be there. Since her and I are both working and there's no real huge property holdings to sort out the amount the court orders me to pay should not be insurmountable.

I have certainly been given opportunities in the arena of love this year. Although I clearly jumped the gun on the first the woman I'm with now did not hesitate to act on her true feelings.
To my delight she was the one who uttered those words first. The feelings I had for the first were very real, so much so that in my gut she had to feel the same. But due to her getting out of a bad marriage and two failed long-term relationships (one died just before they were to be married & the second got cold feet before marriage) those intense emotions present in our brief time together were too much for her.
As it is the way she abruptly shut everything down with no second chances really left me with no trust in her at all. I could never trust her to not do the same thing to me down the road. If I were to do something she felt wrong when would she simply pull the plug, no questions asked? I couldn't live with that in the back of my mind. Although this woman was much closer to my ideal than many others previously there were many things she obviously needed to work out in her mind. Although I will say that I still wonder if I were used to make her old boyfriend jealous? Nonetheless that chapter is long over.

The woman I am seeing now is wonderful. She's kind and caring to a fault. She's curious about the world and has this incredible energy about her that excites me.
We spent Thanksgiving weekend together, meeting on Thanksgiving evening and getting to know each other in person. We also have plans to spend Christmas and New Year's together. The emotions we express here are very open and honest and very very real.
No holding back. We had first chatted after my separation and had planned to get together. But due to a variety of reasons we didn't connect and lost track of each other. Thank god that I answered her post to me on Facebook. Before we may very well have not appreciated what we have. But now I find myself falling in love with her everyday all over again. She's all that I want in a woman and then some. The passion between us is very raw and very real.
It's been a great year all the way around, and the best is yet to come!